In support of teenage trick-or-treaters

My son, aka Unicorn Man

I'm the mother of a 5-foot-10 high school freshman.

He looks like a man, sounds like a man, and (at times) acts like a man, but he's still trick-or-treating this Halloween.

You know why this makes me happy? Not because of my sentimental need to hold onto his childhood a little longer. Not because I'm looking forward to the massive haul of candy he'll bring home.

I'm happy because I recognize that the path from childhood to adulthood is crooked. Sometimes it even doubles back on itself. My son grabs his independence with both hands and then, in the next moment, he crushes my legs because he wants to sit on my lap.

The teen years are full of push me/pull you from both of us. I push him to take responsibility for himself as I pull him close to advise. He pushes me away with silence and boundaries and then pulls me toward him for validation and reassurance.

From "What you need to know about 6-foot trick-or-treaters:"

When a crowd of under-costumed teens shows up on your doorstep, welcome them. It’s a big group because they find strength in numbers. They’re not wearing costumes because they didn’t realize that they’d want to go–nor how badly.

It's Halloween. A lighthearted moment for my son to choose between the man he's becoming and the boy he is. There are fewer of these moments each passing year.

I say: grab it with both hands.

Comments

[Leasa]

I LOVE this post. I couldn't agree more. I enjoy having teenagers come to my door and tell them I'm happy to see them. I am always surprised and a little upset at the people who say the teens are too old to be trick-or-treating.

[adrienne]

There's something magical about this that I probably won't be able to articulate today. It's a love of fantasy and play, the same thing that drives both CosPlay and community theatre. It's joy and imagination, things we all need in our lives even in adulthood.

I hope he has a great time, and we'll welcome his counterparts here in Indiana.

May we all muster the courage to do things that make us happy.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you - I used to only grudgingly give candy to give teenagers if they didn't have a decent costume, but this gives me a whole new, much more compassionate, perspective!

[chr]

Late comment is late, (lurker who finally wants to share) but I just have to post this:

My friends and I didn't stop trick or treating every year 'til we turned 19. No joke :D Then we sporadically trick or treated. And it was much easier when one of our friends became a mother and had a young toddler. We would trick or treat for the little one, then when all kid trick or treaters would thin out, that's when we pulled out our own candy bags :D

I'll never forget this one lady who refused to give the little one candy because he was with a group of young adults. I guess it was that serious to her, but not serious enough to notice that the only one with a candy bag in the group was the four year old. But little one was fine with it, so okay :)

Let teenagers and young adults keep trick or treating. So many adults have forgotten how it was being a young kid, and no longer even have the kid in their hearts. When you lose focus on your innocence and simplicity, you become a crappy adult. At 31 years of age, I say with pride I still have a little of the kid in me, and my own son loves that too.

[Asha Dornfest (Parent Hacks)]

@chr: Thank you for de-lurking! You know, having "the kid in you" is such an advantage as a parent. Even (especially) as your kids get older.